Do Expectations Really Matter?
Do Expectations Really Matter?
Expectations can be considered good or bad, depending on how it is interpreted. Having expectations are important for growth and development. When expectations are not communicated properly, it can be considered unhealthy which may cause disappointments. Furthermore, expectations can become a problem when it is used as a power struggle where one imposes their interest onto another for their own personal agenda and desires.
It is important for one to manage his or her own expectations and set boundaries in regards to expectations involving other people. According to Peter Marshall, “one needs a clear vision that they may know where to stand and what to stand for, because unless you stand for something you shall fall for anything.” In other words, you have to set your own standards for yourself, or else other people will set standards for you and you might not like it in the end because it does not benefit your happiness.
When Expectations Sends You Running for Cover
Whenever life expectations become so overwhelming that you can’t function on a daily basis, then you know it is time for self-evaluation. Have you been living up to others expectations your whole life, and not knowing how to think for yourself? Or maybe you have been setting high expectations for yourself, and that have become mentally exhausting. Over-expectation about self can lead to; over-thinking, overgeneralization, disqualifying the positives, labelling, personalisation, and more.
Do You Make These Common Expectation Mistakes?
Devalue self-worth, not making your own decisions
Making family and cultural expectations a priority, ignoring personal ambitions
Ignoring professional dreams, undermining true potentials
Constantly living in your parent’s footsteps
Invalidating feelings (not expressing emotions)
The popular Serenity Prayer says, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” Reinhold Niebuhr. The message from this is everyone has choices. What you do with those choices determines one’s outcome. Everyone has the ability to change their reactions to challenging times. You can react to challenges in a negative way or a productive way. Pay attention to how you are feeding your mind and actions. Is it with positivity or negativity?
Doing Expectations the Right Way
Changing one’s personal perspective can mean; being prepared for alterations, and understanding your own personal goals and values. It is okay to get feedback from others, but it is important to find a voice for yourself so in the end you feel better about your decisions. Everyone needs to engage in a process of self-discovery and learning, and choose values and practices that works best for you.
“Don’t allow people or relationships to define who you are or what you are destined for.”
